Let’s Compare: Responsibility?

Posted on June 1, 2018 by Mike

Taylor is a post-grad who got full aid plus spending money and plane fare to one of the top 10 prep schools in the country. He was hoping to earn a college scholarship after his PG year, but wasn’t quite good enough. Still, he and his family got what almost every family hopes for – a very top academic D3 school with a list price of $70,000 for less than $5,000/yr. Instead, he’s chosen to go to junior college. This is a problem for his prep school coach, the prep school admissions office, the prep school college counseling office and the prep school itself. The school’s list of college matriculations is nothing short of incredible. That’s why families from around the world are willing to write the check for $65,000/yr. to attend. The school doesn’t hand out full financial aid so kids can go to junior college when they’ve got infinitely better options. The school knows not everyone’s a scholarship athlete. They’re fine with that. But picking a junior college over a top D3 for no good reason is not acceptable, especially when the family told the prep school twice before being accepted that they would take the right D3 offer if they didn’t get a scholarship. Now that the junior college decision has been made, this family has no qualms or guilt and apparently feels no responsibility to the school or others, especially the next kid who wants the same opportunity and now might not get it .

Haley is a freshman star three sport athlete who gets nearly full aid to attend a very good prep school. She’s already one of the most popular and respected students on campus, both with faculty and other students. When her school deal was originally finalized she said she felt a responsibility to live up to what was expected of her. At the end of her highly successful first year, she was very proud of her success. One of the reasons, she said, was the pressure she felt because she knew she wasn’t just trying to achieve her own goals. She also knew she was representing other people and any future girls who wanted the chance she got. She’d been given something great, something she loved, and wanted to live up to it.

Email of the Day: Problem Parents / Too Many Schools

Posted on February 9, 2017 by Mike

These days it’s much more common than it used to be to find kids changing schools multiple times during their high school years. It’s something of an epidemic. I think it’s consistent with the overall mentality of immediate satisfaction in our society today, and it’s not good.

Here’s an email I wrote to some parents whose child must be close to some kind of record for number of schools attended (6 in 3 states), especially for a very good student.

Ron,

For 30 years I’ve guided families through the prep school and college process. It’s my full time job. I get paid to do it. I help families in similar situations every year, and my guidance almost always pays for itself. In your case, I wish I could help, but I can’t.

I’ve watched the highlight videos and I’ve been doing some homework on your situation. The pieces are coming together.

You and your wife are friendly, highly educated people. I’ve always enjoyed the conversations you and I have had, but you completely lost your sense of reality on this topic a long time ago. On my website, there’s a section of blogs entitled “Otherwise likeable, intelligent people”. You’ve made the list. If it’s accurate (or even close) that your son has attended six different schools in three different states since he started high school, that’s a huge red flag. It’s so bad in so many ways, I almost don’t know where to start, but here’s where it ends. I’m going to tell you what you don’t want to hear. You’re a problem parent, and that’s holding your son back more than anything else in this equation.

Your son has scholarship level athleticism (although he doesn’t play the game that well). It’s realistic to think he could get a D2 or NAIA offer, and he still might. However, if his academic profile is as you described (3.4 GPA, 1700+ SAT), the much better choice, the smarter choice, is a very good D3 school (a UAA, a NESCAC or similar school) for the next four years. He’d get a great education, have a great basketball experience, and, finally, get some stability.

Given your history, I expect you will choose a JuCo for a year or two, then yet another school after that. I said at the beginning I’d like to help, but I can’t. I’d have to tell college coaches about your son’s history and that they’re asking for trouble if they take him (although they almost assuredly would know it without me telling them). They’d ask me why. I’d tell them the parents are a big problem. Then they’d ask me why I bothered contacting them in the first place, and they’d be right.

Sorry for being blunt. I’ll call you later to discuss.

Thanks.

Mike

Quote of the Day – Administrative Attitude

Posted on April 16, 2016 by Mike

He’s a deadly combination of arrogance and insecurity.

A comment about the relatively new director of admission and financial aid at a well known prep school made by another person in the field. The school has seen a precipitous drop in the academic quality of incoming students under the new director, who is also single-handedly scuttling what was a top prep school athletic program. He dismisses any input from, or meaningful communication with, others at the school who want to fix the problem, telling them he’s the only one who could possibly understand what’s going on. A classic example of the Wizard of Oz mentality.

Looking Back: Michael Wright – Missed Opportunities

Posted on September 28, 2015 by Mike

As a college freshman, Michael Wright made an immediate impact on the football team. He became a starter after only one game before getting hurt and missing most of the season. In his second year, he picked up right where he left off. Not only is he starting as a redshirt freshman, he’s far and away the team’s best receiver. No one else is even close.

Most would say this is great and that in deciding on his current university he made the right choice. After all, he’s having the kind of success that every athlete and parent hopes for, but few ever find. He’s a star who’s going to have a great career. Everyone’s happy and excited. On the surface, it’s hard to argue with that. Let’s take a closer look.

Despite seemingly obvious talent, Michael had few options coming out of HS. Playing in a small town with limited exposure and support, not many colleges showed interest. At that point, prep school was an option. In the spring of his senior year, he finally received a partial offer from one of the lowest D1 FCS teams. Ready to take it, he then received a full offer from a decent FCS program. Once he got those offers, his interest in prep school ended. He took the second scholarship offer, saying it was a great opportunity. On the surface, it was hard to argue with that. This kid from a difficult background was going to play D1 ball while getting a free education. Isn’t that the goal?

Prep school would have been a dramatically better choice. Here’s why:

Better Education (This is supposed to be most important, right?)
1. He would have gotten two much better, life-changing educations
  1. Prep School
    1. He would have attended one of the top five academic prep schools in the world
      1. He would have learned to be a better student
        
        He would have been better prepared to get higher grades in college.
  2. College
    1. The prep school education would have propelled him to a much better academic college
      1. He would be at an Ivy or Patriot League school, or a place like Rice, Boston College, or similar
        
        The college he’s attending now provides an average education
Incredible Connections
1. Prep school and college
  1. He would have made incredible contacts that would last a lifetime
    1. His friends would have been the kids who will be running this country twenty years from now
      1. He’s not getting anything close to that at his college
Higher level of college ball
1. This was a given after a year of prep school
  1. His immediate success at his current school likely proves that he could play at a much higher level
    1. Instead of playing for a non-noteworthy school, he could be playing at a big-time school like Vanderbilt, Boston College, Northwestern, etc.
Better life preparation and perspective
1. The extra year of maturity at prep school is an invaluable one-time opportunity

This is not second-guessing. This has nothing to do with the success he’s found at college. These were the options, and this was all discussed, from the start. The success he’s had only reinforces the point.

Some families would have taken the prep school option. Why didn’t Michael’s? Perhaps they didn’t listen to the right people. Or maybe, contrary to what he said, he just didn’t believe enough in himself and his talent.

It’s not that they made a bad decision, it’s that there was a much better one. He and his family could have had so much more. They had an asset, an investment, that they failed to get the most out of. All parents want their child to develop as fully as possible. The Wrights missed an opportunity to do this. They also missed out on tangible benefits. It’s pretty easy to make the case that Michael’s lifetime earnings will be dramatically lower than they would have been if he’d opted for prep school.

Quote of the Day – Two Years for Less Than the Cost of One

Posted on July 30, 2015 by Mike

We got two years of prep school for less than one PG year was going to cost.

This from parents whose child was planning on a post-graduate year, but immediately changed his mind after visiting his first prep school and decided to go for his junior year instead.

PG Year – Wasted Time and Money?

Posted on June 24, 2015 by Mike

Cameron had a good senior year playing for a low profile high school and received only D3 offers. She and her parents decided to invest their time and money in a post-graduate year, believing she had the potential to get scholarship offers.

By all accounts, Cameron played very well in her PG year. At the end of the season she took two official visits to NCAA D2 schools, but did not receive a scholarship offer from either. She was also offered a preferred walk-on spot at two mid-level D1 schools, one of which she accepted.

Many would look at this situation and say the decision to attend prep school was a bad one, a waste of time and money. While Cameron and her parents certainly had some disappointment, a closer look reveals a very good decision.

Cost: This is often a big part of a PG year decision, and understandably so. Cameron’s family invested about $15,000 and got no scholarship to show for it. What they did get is an extra $12,000 per year in college financial aid. That’s what the school they chose offered compared to offers from similar schools that did not recruit her for basketball. That’s a payback of three times what they invested. That alone makes the PG year an easy justification and a great choice.
Lower basketball risk: Cameron could have walked-on at a D1 school after HS, but the risks would have been much greater. She would not have been a preferred walk-on, so she might not have even made the team. She’d only have about a week to prove herself. As a preferred walk-on she is virtually assured a spot on the team. She’s also a better player than she was a year ago. The D2 offers are objective proof of that. Those offers prove it’s not unreasonable to think she can play at the D1 level, and possibly earn a scholarship. (It’s hard to overstate the value of that information in today’s sports world, where so many kids and parents struggle to accurately assess the athlete’s talent level). The PG year closed the talent gap, while reducing the risk once she gets there.
Lower academic risk: A below average student, by all accounts she needed an extra year to figure out how to get her inherent intelligence to show up in her school work. As it turned out, she did just that. A different learning environment, in addition to being away from home, allowed her to achieve better grades than she did in high school. She’s now better prepared to handle the tougher course work in college. It also boosted her confidence in the classroom, which will increase her chances of success in college.
Lower overall risk: Most families don’t understand the time and other demands of playing a sport at the D1 level. Combined with the more difficult classroom work, the athlete’s maturity is tested immediately and often. College has also changed since today’s parents attended. A much larger percentage of students are not graduating, or are taking more than four years to do it. Certainly the financial risks are greater. College debt is arguably the largest financial problem in the country today. Cameron’s transitional year of prep school did exactly what a PG year is supposed to do. It gave her the opportunity to mature as a person while reducing all of these risks.

No, Cameron didn’t get a scholarship – yet, but the PG year was subtly a very good intermediate step towards overall success. It allowed her to keep the dream alive and saved her family over $30,000, while getting all the other educational and maturity benefits and minimizing the risks. They would tell you it was still an excellent choice.

Should Your College Coach Pick Your Prep School?

Posted on May 5, 2015 by Mike

Sometimes athletes have already committed to a college when they decide to switch from high school to prep school. When their future college coach recommends a prep school or two, the natural reaction of the athlete is to accept the recommendation on faith. After all, if the athlete and family are willing to trust the next four or five years of the athlete’s life to the college coach, why wouldn’t they trust the prep school recommendation of that coach? This is a tough situation for the athlete and family. Here’s why.

Most college coaches don’t know that much about prep schools
1. Just because they know more than the families, doesn’t mean they know enough to offer complete, big-picture, objective advice
  1. Their knowledge of schools is limited to a relatively small number of schools
  2. Their knowledge of the aspects of the schools outside of the sport is limited
Sometimes college coaches are looking out for themselves first. This is one of those times.
1. They want the athlete at a school where the chances are smallest that the athlete will get recruited away by another college before the athlete actually signs and matriculates.
2. They like the prep school coach and want to help the coach out.

Certainly there are times when taking the coach’s recommendation makes the most sense. Perhaps the prep school uses the same system, philosophy or training methods as the college coach. Maybe it’s physically located very close to the future college, allowing both athlete and coach great opportunity for a year’s worth of interaction that will provide an excellent head-start on their four years together. (The Hun School of Princeton and Princeton University are probably the best example of this).

There can also be other factors. For example, the athlete may be worried about offending the college coach by not taking the prep school recommendation. This could send the wrong message and no one wants to start off on the wrong foot. A simple conversation will usually relieve this situation quite easily.

As always, the choice of the best prep school should be one based on what’s best for the child and the child’s overall development, not simply on a sport. The process of picking a school should be one that minimizes risks while maximizing the possibility for success. In the reality of today’s world, where no one has enough time, most families will accept the college coach’s recommendation. Many don’t have time to go through the process the right way. Smart families will not put all their eggs in one basket. Instead, they will explore some schools in addition to those recommended by the college coach.

For a more in-depth version of this blog, including a detailed example, click on this link.

http://prepschoolsportsconnection.com/should-your-future-college-coach-pick-your-prep-school-2/

Should Your Future College Coach Pick Your Prep School?

Posted on April 6, 2015 by Mike

Some athletes have already committed to a college when they decide to switch from high school to prep school. When their future college coach recommends a prep school or two, the natural reaction of the athlete is to accept the recommendation on faith. After all, if the athlete and family are willing to trust the next four or five years of the athlete’s life to the college coach, why wouldn’t they trust the prep school recommendation of that coach? This is a tough situation for the athlete and family. Here’s why.

Most college coaches don’t know that much about prep schools. Though they almost always know more than the families, that’s not saying much. Many know enough to be dangerous, but not enough to offer well thought out, objective guidance. Their awareness is limited to a relatively small number of prep schools and doesn’t include enough about the non-athletic parts of the schools. These statements are not made arbitrarily. College coaches have called Prep School Sports Connection for decades asking for insight, help and information regarding prep schools, and we have listened to them and studied at length what they know and don’t know, even those who don’t call me for help.

College coaches are looking out for themselves first. While you may trust them and think they’re great (and they usually are), don’t think there aren’t times when they’re going to do what’s best for themselves. This is one of them. They are most likely going to pick a prep school for two reasons. One, they want the athlete at a school where the chances are smallest that the athlete will get recruited away from them by another college before the athlete actually signs and matriculates at their school. That means a prep school situation and coach who will protect the college coach’s interests by shielding the athlete from possible recruiters from other colleges. Many families would respond that by saying it doesn’t matter as they’ve already made their college choice and it’s not going to change. They would be missing the point. There’s a risk, and the coaches know it better than you. They do this for a living. Most families have never been through this before. As much as the coaches like you and want to help you, they want to protect their interest more. So they pick a prep school that minimizes their risk, not one that maximizes opportunity or provides the athlete the best overall fit for this very important year or more of personal development. By the way, many families would be surprised at the number of athletes who change their mind and choose a different college. Why do you think the coaches are nervous? Prep school opens up options and thinking. It’s a big world. If you’re used to a local school, prep school is a real eye-opener for most families. If you don’t keep your options open, you’re cheating yourself out of a significant benefit of prep school. Why would you do that when you don’t have to? The second reason college coaches pick certain prep schools is that they like the prep school coach and want to help the coach out. Perhaps they have worked together in the past, are friends or were college teammates. While this could benefit the athlete, it generally does not put the athlete’s interests first.

Here’s a recent example. Allison O’Connor is a very talented athlete and student. When her father took a new job in a different state, she attended a highly regarded parochial school for one year. A very bad and emotionally trying experience there prompted the family to decide that she should attend prep school. After the year they’ve had, the family has made it clear that they don’t want to go through something like that again. They have to get it right this time, especially since the girl will be 900 miles from home. She will be entering her senior year and has already committed to an Ivy League (D1) school, turning down scholarship offers in the process. Any prep school would be thrilled to have her based on those factors alone, but she also happens to be full-pay (the family can easily write the check for the $55,000 for prep school), making her the student-athlete every prep school looks and fights for. Her college coach recommended just one prep school and it meets none of the criteria the family and I agreed to use for the school search. Specifically, the academic level of the school is significantly below the level that best supports the student, the school has no history of producing Ivy or other D1 players, the overall level of the sport and league is nothing special, the campus is below average, the geographic location is not good, and the endowment is relatively small, and the type of students the athlete would be around are not the type this child is looking for. In short, the overall environment is not a match, and there’s no objective reason for this to be on the list of possible prep schools for this student-athlete’s consideration.

Certainly there are times when taking the coach’s recommendation makes the most sense. Perhaps the prep school uses the same system, philosophy or training methods as the college coach. Maybe it’s physically located very close to the future college, allowing both athlete and coach great opportunity for interaction that will provide a big head start on their four years together. (The Hun School of Princeton and Princeton University being perhaps as good an example as there is).

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Category Archives: Advanced Blogs

Quote of the Day – Administrative Attitude

Looking Back: Michael Wright – Missed Opportunities

Quote of the Day – Two Years for Less Than the Cost of One