Email of the Day: Changing Prep Schools Too Many Times

These emails are part of an exchange between me and a parent who contacted me looking for advice on having his child change prep schools. This same parent opted not to hire me a year ago when the child last switched schools. This is the child’s third school in four years (one public, one parochial, one prep (he reclassed)) and they want to switch to a fourth school for his final year. His younger brother also currently attends the same school and they would like the two to stay together.

 

Kyle,
I tend to look at a much bigger picture than most families and others involved in the process. In your case, I think Michael should stay at his current prep school. After 3 schools in 4 years, it’s pretty clear the problem isn’t the schools, it’s Michael, you and his mom. You are the common denominator. If your goal is to best position yourselves for the future, the best thing you can do right now is to stick it out for once. That will start to try to reverse the bad foundation you’ve laid and the bad habit you’re all in of picking the wrong school and/or leaving when things get tough. (As it stands now, you’re likely to keep doing the same thing when he gets to college.) I think the best plan for everyone is to stay where he is and hire me now to help you with the college process. That’s the big picture.

If you want to just look at the smaller picture and decide you definitely want to change schools, I have a couple that I think are exactly what you’re looking for. I said yesterday that you can’t afford to make another mistake, but there’s another way to look at it that’s probably more accurate or at least more realistic. At this point, from a basketball standpoint, you have nothing to lose. You know you’re not going to get the basketball you want at his current school next year and you’ve already been to 3 schools so one more isn’t going to make much of a difference. If you want to, you can definitely put him in a better overall basketball situation for his last year. This will put him in the best position to be recruited and ready to play at the college level.

I know that ideally, Sam would move to the same school as Michael. The schools I have in mind could both accommodate and be good matches for Sam as well.

 

Mike

 

Dad’s response:

Mike,

I appreciate you keeping it real.  Kris and I both deep down felt the right move is to stick it out at his current school.  Michael loves the school, academics are great, etc.

Kris and I plan to have a call with his AD and coach and express our concerns, give them a chance.  You are right, Michael needs to stick it out and us supporting his habit of when it gets tough roll out needs to stop.

 

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Let’s Compare: Responsibility?

Taylor is a post-grad who got full aid plus spending money and plane fare to one of the top 10 prep schools in the country. He was hoping to earn a college scholarship after his PG year, but wasn’t quite good enough. Still, he and his family got what almost every family hopes for – a very top academic D3 school with a list price of $70,000 for less than $5,000/yr. Instead, he’s chosen to go to junior college. This is a problem for his prep school coach, the prep school admissions office, the prep school college counseling office and the prep school itself. The school’s list of college matriculations is nothing short of incredible. That’s why families from around the world are willing to write the check for $65,000/yr. to attend. The school doesn’t hand out full financial aid so kids can go to junior college when they’ve got infinitely better options. The school knows not everyone’s a scholarship athlete. They’re fine with that. But picking a junior college over a top D3 for no good reason is not acceptable, especially when the family told the prep school twice before being accepted that they would take the right D3 offer if they didn’t get a scholarship. Now that the junior college decision has been made, this family has no qualms or guilt and apparently feels no responsibility to the school or others, especially the next kid who wants the same opportunity and now might not get it .

 

Haley is a freshman star three sport athlete who gets nearly full aid to attend a very good prep school. She’s already one of the most popular and respected students on campus, both with faculty and other students. When her school deal was originally finalized she said she felt a responsibility to live up to what was expected of her. At the end of her highly successful first year, she was very proud of her success. One of the reasons, she said, was the pressure she felt because she knew she wasn’t just trying to achieve her own goals. She also knew she was representing other people and any future girls who wanted the chance she got. She’d been given something great, something she loved, and wanted to live up to it.

 

 

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